The only relationship I have is with my Wi-Fi. We have a connection.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. – Chris Rock
Funny in love quotes
Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. – Phyllis Diller
Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family. – Chelsea Handler
Funny quotes on love
Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.
The happiest marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. – Coleridge
What is love funny quotes
Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are. – Will Ferrell
I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.
Funny love quotes for him
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. – Jimmy Durante
True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen. – Francois de la Rochefoucauld
Funny love quotes to him
e is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener. – Pauline Thomason
My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light. – Rodney Dangerfield
Funny love quotes for her
I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. – Rita Rudner
If you text ‘I love you’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back. – Chelsea Peretti
Funny love quotes and sayings
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. – Joan Rivers
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. – David Bissonette
Funny Love Quotes for Couples
An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. – Agatha Christie
A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. – Tim Allen
Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood. – Oscar Wilde
As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: You can be right or you can be happy. – Ralphie May
We hope these quotes put a smile on your face as it did for us.
